Kristin Jessica Ray

I never met Krissy in person. I knew of Krissy though my good friend Emily. Emily’s description of Krissy made me understand what a truly amazing, loving and beautiful person she was without having to meet her IRL. From the amazing stories that Emily has told me, it’s clear the impact that Krissy had on her friends and loved ones lives. I wish I could have known her in the real world, but I was fortunate enough to spend some time with her in the virtual world on her ACNH island.

Krissy – thank you for being the most wonderful and amazing person and friend to Emily (and everyone else you knew). I love hearing the stories about you and the impact you made on everyone close to you. You will be missed by not only those closest to you, but by those you briefly crossed paths with in life and in your virtual life.

I’m such a lucky person to have had someone like Krissy in my life these past few years. She was bright, compassionate, and gave me a mountain of support even after she was faced with such a devastating prognosis. No matter what she was going through, she cared so much about how her friends felt, and made it clear that she wanted them to be okay. Whenever she got bad news, she would say she didn’t want me to worry, and that everyone was treating her so kindly. And she was beyond gracious whenever I sent her a little gift or drawing, or rattled on about how much I was thinking about her. (We used to have arguments all the time that would have been obnoxious to other people. I’d say ‘ilu’ and she’d say ‘ilu more’ and I’d assure her that was impossible. It went on for years, up until the end, and neither ever won that argument.)

We met through a writing community, and became fast friends. She was a fantastic writer, which she never gave herself enough credit for. She put so much of her emotion into her words that I was immediately attached. We talked every day, coming up with ideas and planning what we wanted to happen next. It was some of the most fun I’d ever had doing something creative with someone else. Even when that community ended, we’d still write stories together, up until she couldn’t do it anymore. She used to say that was some of her best work and I was so happy to have shared that with her.

She was huge supporter of female characters in particular, and took it as a personal affront when she’d see a character dismissed or stereotyped by fans of a series. I always admired how she would rally around any character that she felt wasn’t treated fairly, and was passionate about challenging negative stereotypes. She was ecstatic that the Wonder Woman movie was a hit, one of her favorites, and I remember being so elated for her that they got one of her all time favorite characters right. She admired real life women as well for their personal strength, and I felt that must have inspired her to keep fighting these past three years. I don’t know that she ever realized that in my eyes, none of them were as strong as she was.

Whatever we could do together she was always up for, and she pushed herself to keep playing games and have a little escape from everything that was going on. I talked about her often, and she had a lot of support from people she never knew. I wanted everyone to be her friend and share in how amazing she was.

She once told me that she was thankful that I stayed with her after her diagnosis, like it was too hard to be friends with someone going through what she was, and like she didn’t expect me to. I regret that she thought it was ever something she needed to apologize for, but that’s the kind of person she was. It was always about everyone else. She faced everything that was dealt to her with a grace and wisdom that I honestly can’t say I would have had. We were close before she found out about the cancer, but afterwards I didn’t want to waste one moment. I stubbornly thought that if anyone could beat the odds, Krissy had a better shot than anyone. And she did last as long as anyone could. 

I had the extreme fortune of seeing her a couple of weeks before she passed, and I’m eternally grateful to her family and mine for making sure that happened. And I’m so thankful to her that she held on for those few days I spent with her. I was determined to save my tears and she just wanted us to have the best time. And we did. The whole time she never lost her smile. 

She was one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known, and a friendship I’m the most proud to have had. She was someone we should all strive to be like. It’s still hard to imagine a world where I can’t send her messages every day, piling them on until she would wake up and say ‘ilu’ back. I miss my friend so much. Krissy has such a huge place in my heart, and she’ll always live there.

I've considered so much what I want to say here, but the idea of summing up everything Krissy was and always will be in my life in beyond what I have words for. Never in my life have I had a friend who I felt truly understood me like Krissy did, and who accepted everything about me that I hated about myself. Who knew exactly what to say when I needed a kind word, who knew how to bring me back when my anxiety was spiraling out of control. People talk about being selfless, but Krissy truly never put herself above anyone. If you needed her, she was there. Ready with a smile and a kind word. 

For most of our friendship we were long distance, briefly meeting for a few years in the middle to be roommates in Greenville, but she never felt far away. Through all our travels, and lives, and separate roads, she was a constant for my entire adult life. No matter how we changed, or how our settings changed, or how the world changed, Krissy was my anchor.

I'm not sure when along the way I started thinking of her as a sister, but now and forever that's what she'll be to me. A sister I both chose, and who I felt destined to have in my life. Felt fated to know. There will never be anything that can fill the hole in my heart that her absence will leave behind, but I'm thankful, so beyond words thankful that I got to call her my best friend, and my sister. 

Until we meet again,

I love you, Krissy. 

I was lucky enough to know Kristin via the internet, she was an incredibly warm and welcoming person to both old friends and new faces alike, and made sure everyone had a smile on their face. I know I and everyone she encountered will make sure her memory lives on, and all of us send love to all her family and friends during this difficult time. 

I too knew Kristin as Incitings on Lodey's chat. She was welcoming and warm to everyone. She was genuine and caring to everyone she came in contact with. We will miss her dearly and her absence will be deeply felt.

I wish I had gotten to know her better, she was always so welcoming and loving towards everyone. A sweetheart, and like family to many in the community. Thank you for being with us

I knew Kristin as her online alias, incitings. Incite is a verb that means to move to action : stir up : spur on : urge on. Kristin has undoubtedly incited a movement of unconditional love. She is not gone for her spirit will live on in all of us. Her love and kindness was so powerful, and so special, it impacted many people so profoundly that we will carry that love with us and into every interaction with others - online or in person.

She unquestionably made the world a better place and made a lasting positive impact without even meaning to. For in her mind she was just being a good friend, saying hello, and sharing words of comfort. I believe she would want to be comforting everyone, even now. Finding a positive spin on it all. I hope she's proud of herself for leaving a legacy of unconditional love. And I hope she's having so much fun cuddled up with her kitty free of pain witnessing just how much of an impact she had on the world.

In memory of Kristin Jessica Ray, Samuel Dawes lit a candle

Thank you for being such a kind and warm and friendly and welcoming presence. I wish you knew just how important you truly are and just how much positivity you gave the world by being you. Things were always better in your presence and, for that, I will never forget you. I love you, Incitings.

Thank you for being so welcoming and sweet to everyone in our community. You would always bring a smile to everyone's faces with just a simple "Hey!" I will miss seeing all your uplifting and helpful messages in chat to anyone that was in need of them. We will miss you dearly and will always love you. Rest in peace.

Kristin, or as I known her by her username 'Incitings', holds a very special place in my heart within the year we've met and talked.

A year ago, I met Kristen on Lodey's Twitch stream, and though mostly I quietly watched as I'm much too shy to say hello for the most part, it was Kristen who was the first person to greet me. Just that small 'hi Franci' was enough encouragement to step out of my shell and start talking. It was through Kristen that I made a lot of friends on the stream there, and made each day a little bit more brighter.

I always looked forward to hearing from Kristen, no matter if it was good or bad. She was so friendly, so warm, so kind, and always brought a smile to my face. I was so happy to hear from her.

She was also the first person to gift me a subscription on Twitch. In turn, as a means to thank her, I paid it forward tenfolds to many other users--both new and old--because I loved her generous spirit. 

Kristen was also there to help me during a tough situation that was going on in my life. I was afraid of reaching out to talk to anyone about it because I kept doubting myself over it. I was afraid no one would believe me or tell me I was overreacting.

But when I quietly reached out to Kristen, she did not hesitate to believe me and encouraged me to talk it out with her. She did not question the legitimacy of the situation, nor did she doubt me. She instead comforted me and encouraged me to reach out and talk to everyone else about it. Had it not been for Kristen, I would have been back to a very dark place in my life that I thought I was recovered from.

Kristen, even though we've only been friends for a year, that entire year of talking to you and you reaching out to me made a huge difference in my life. You've given me so much, many of which I can't even begin to pay back and I wish I had met you sooner so we could spend more time together.

You made the world a brighter place for not just me, but everyone on the Discord server.

Thank you for sharing your time with me. I will always remember you.

You were a beloved member of our community and you'll be dearly missed

You were such a kind person to everyone and always made our community feel welcome. I will always miss your presence and wonderful words.

She was a bright, beautiful person who uplifted those around her. I knew her through a few online communities, and I watched with a broad smile as she brought joy to everyone she encountered, from friends to complete strangers, asking them about their days and lives and struggles. Talking to her was a joy - she was not only interested in what others had to say, but had something interesting to contribute to the conversation herself. I am honored to have known her, and brokenhearted to have lost a light like hers in the world. I hope her friends and family find some consolation in this challenging time. 

Krissy, you were a wonderful human being and brightened so many people's days. You were loved by everyone and people were drawn to your positivity. Even as you battled cancer, you were a pure delight, always rising above negativity and inspiring others to continue their creative endeavours and to never give up. I didn't know you in person, but we were online friends and you were a pillar of the community. It always cheered me up to see you show up in chat and say hi, and I was rooting for you until the very end. I know you're in a better place now, rest in peace. We love you.

Krissy was gracious, kind, thoughtful, sweet, and all around an incredibly lovely human being. I am so thankful to have known her, both in virtual space and in person, however briefly our interactions were. She was a pure delight to be around, and the world is a darker place with her passing. Much love to her parents, family, and friends who are grieving her loss.

Please accept our deepest condolences for your family's loss.